I AM GOOGLE

We use Google for everything. EVERYTHING. If I need anything from a summary of Jane Eyre to the hours of operation for the donut shop down the street, I know I can find it on Google. That being said I think I’ve used Google enough in my life to take over its job for one night. So I’m going to be answering the top “who,” “what,” “where,” “when,” “why,” and “how” questions people type into the Google search bar. Then I’m going to compare them to what Google actually has to say about the topic. We’ll see who comes out on top. Let the competition begin! (For the purposes of this post, I’m only going to be using the information Google itself gives me- no links).

Who created Kirby?

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Sam says: I assume this question is asking about the video game character. And I honestly have no idea. I’m going to go with some guy named Kirby…?

Google says: Masahiro Sakurai. Sakurai apparently created the bouncy pink character when he was just nineteen years old! I didn’t get much more information from just the first page of search results, but the links looked like they’d offer a lot more insight into that whole realm.

What is Bitcoin?

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Sam says: From what I understand, Bitcoin is acts like currency only strictly digital. People can buy, sell, and trade with others. I think its value changes depending on the basics of economics- supply and demand. If people want to buy it, then others will sell it.

Google says: Bitcoin is the first digital currency to operate independent of a centralized bank. It was founded by Satoshi Nakamoto in 2009. Google gives a definition, the link to Bitcoin’s Wikipedia page, and even access to a “What is Bitcoin?” YouTube video. All the information about Bitcoin is at your disposal!

Where am I?

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Sam says: Where am I? Or where are you? …I’m in Oklahoma…

Google says: Google just showed me a broad map of my location… (Insert government/FBI conspiracy theories here).

When is Daylight Savings 2018?

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Sam says: I actually know this one! It’s this upcoming Sunday, 11 March! We’re setting our clocks forward at two in the morning, losing that extra hour of sleep we gained in November. Better get to bed early Saturday night!

Google says: I typed it into the search bar anyway- you know, for funzies- and Google even gave me a start and end date for this year- 11 March 2018-4 November 2018. The tradition was started (in America?) in 1918, during World War I, by the federal government. There are some links with more information on the history of Daylight Saving Time (no “s” at the end of “saving,” apparently) available for your pursuing. But most interestingly to me, is the current news surrounding this event. A few places are evidently tired of changing their clocks twice a year- Florida for example has voted to stay in Daylight Saving Time year-round. I’m interested in reading more behind the reason for this decision.

Why him?

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Sam says: Like the film? With James Franco and Zoey Deutch? I found it fairly humorous, kind of weird (but what James Franco film isn’t just a little bit off-kilter), with a subtle sweetness concerning family relationships. It’s not something someone would watch for the plot or character development, but the actors are funny and play each situation well, which in the long-run was probably the main goal for this film.

If you’re asking me about a specific “him”… yes.

Google says: My results were flooded with links about Why Him?, the film. Directed by John Hamburg, Why Him? raked in 118 million U.S. dollars from a budget of 52 million U.S. dollars. It follows an overprotective dad (Bryan Cranston) who, with the rest of his family, flies to visit his daughter (Zoey Deutch) in college only to find her in a relationship with a socially awkward, seemingly careless and frank man (James Franco). Reviews are fairly average, if not below average. While people criticize the story, the acting is praised as being light and comical. Google also offers a list of films searchers who like Why Him? might also enjoy.

How to make slime?

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Sam says: I have to be honest with you… I have no idea. Ummm, glue is probably necessary. Water, maybe? Mix it altogether and splash in some food coloring for fun. And there you have it- homemade slime!

Google says: There are plenty of helpful links to instructions and videos detailing step-by-step how to make slime. Depending on how complicated you want to get, it can take as little as four steps to make this sticky and playful substance. The first explanation that comes up requires mixing water, glue, and Sodium Tetraborate (Borax) solution. After you have your ingredients compiled together, mix it all together until it combines and forms into a less sticky substance. To be honest, I’m sure there are some steps in-between there. You should probably click on the link to make sure you’re not missing anything big.

 

So I think it’s fair to say I may need a little bit more practice before becoming a professional search engine. Who do you think gave the better answer- Sam or Google? Vote in the comments section below! And if you have any ideas of other blog post topics I could write about, write that down there too!

 

I have an update for those of you who have been keeping up with the release of my first short story collection- the release dates have been pushed back due to lack of editing time. New dates are posted in “ATTENTION AVID READERS!” as well as on the main page of the blog. I apologize for the delay, but I think in the long run this will make the collection that much better! Thank you for all your patience and support throughout this entire process! All my love!

 

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